Friday, August 27, 2010

Avatar Has Irreparably Ruined Movies

I know I've made my hatred and disappointment in Avatar made known time and time again, but this is a completely different problem I have now. I haven't seen it in 3D, but I hear that it's so much better to watch in that way; and the fact that it's a mash up of Ferngully, Pocahontas, and Dances with Wolves is easily forgotten.

This is bullshit. But that's not the point.

The real crime that Avatar has committed is far worse than a mash up. It's started a wave of retarded 3D movies like Piranha, Step Up, The Last Airbender, Jackass, Clash of the Titans, and a whole slew of other movies all in 3D. The problem with this is that not one of these movies, with the exception of the Last Airbender (and not even for a good reason) wouldn't sell well in the theaters. Piranha and Step Up are almost definitely movies that could go straight to DVD and BluRay, and the other 3D movies are just not going to do as well as Avatar in justifying 5 extra dollars to see a couple letters or leaves pop out of the screen. But no one is gonna think about that when there's 3D involved.

So now movies that wouldn't get any attention, instantly get love because they'll be in 3D, and they don't even have to be good, which allows for everyone involved in the movie making process can get lazy and just tack on some 3D effects and call it a day. This is unacceptable. There have been shit movies out all summer and now, there are going to be shit 3D movies out for the rest of the year.

I don't mind 3D movies, I really don't, but I'm not going to help support the shitty 3D movies so that they can get better. Why don't we actually TRY and have some standards for our film going pleasures and see what happens? God forbid the movie industry gets wise and realizes that they can't make shit movies and expect us to sit there and take it.

TBC...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Fox News is Staffed by a Nest of Dickish Morons

According to Fox News Mr. Rogers is an Evil Man which is also according to another source, Don Chance, a FINANCE instructor at Louisiana State University. If he were a psychologist, maybe I would understand where his logic came from, but what does he really know about that?

Apparently, Mr. Rogers has given American students a sense of entitlement that doesn't allow them to accept the fact that they didn't do A work. I'm not buying this and Mr. Chance is an idiot at best. Studies showed that narcissism has increased in the past 25 years, not that Mr. Rogers was the reason behind it. For a lot of kids, he was probably the only encouragement they had. Let's not forget that he taught kids all about things our parents couldn't, like where toilets, musical instruments, and other things are made.

But let's forget about that for a second. Mr. Rogers is an evil man for giving kids self-esteem and whatnot, why don't we just scrutinize all our childhood shows? Sesame Street is a den for deviants of all kinds. The Count is a pimp, Cookie Monster's a fiend, Snuffleupagus is a pot head, and I'm pretty sure the Grouch is a sexual deviant of the worst kind, who knows what happens when unsuspecting children walk past his trash can?

The flowers are a trap. Keep walking, kid.
If that's what's at Sesame Street, I don't wanna know how to get there, I'd much rather take a leisurely stroll down crack alley. Also, note that there's no song asking how to get out of Sesame Street. That's because you can't.

What this really boils down to is parents not establishing clear boundaries for their kids. Yeah, Mr. Rogers told me I was special too, but my parents told me that I still had to work for what I wanted and that being special didn't mean that I was an exception. Instead, I'm guessing a lot of parents let TV raise their children, which is such a terrible idea.

Regardless of who raised these people who grew up with a sense of entitlement, Mr. Rogers is probably the only one that gave them any useful lessons on what it means to be a good person. So, Fox News, stop talking about how evil a good dead man is. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't say any of that to his face, because if even a sliver of the rumors are true, you won't even know you've been owned by the nicest children's role model ever.

Don't let the sweater fool you,
 he can hit you in the face with that shoe from 100 yards away.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Updating in the name of Consistency

So there's almost been nothing I found worth talking about recently. I'm not the one to put my life up here because honestly, it's not that interesting. Even I'm bored by it. But when recent events are boring too, I find myself in a truly monotonous world. Monotone, even.

Hm...maybe it's not all boring, there was the bedroom intruder song by (well he didn't really write it, but I'm giving him credit) Antoine Dodson that was absolutely hilarious in all it's different forms. But that was a while ago in internet time.

For anyone that doesn't already know about it, you should really check out Cracked.com, it's an almost constant source of entertainment based on real life things that you wouldn't believe if they hadn't backed most of it up with news sources and such.

There is one thing that I want to mention. The state of movies recently. The piece of garbage The Last Airbender was, along with the misleading hype surrounding the movie Salt and the overall lack of real summer blockbusters has led me to realize that our standards for movies are circling the drain. The Last Airbender shouldn't have made money, but it did, and that's everyone's fault. M. Night Shamalayan is now getting full control of a trilogy of what is guaranteed to be shitty movies. We only have ourselves to thank.

We're distracted by cool guys that don't look at explosions and 3d effects and beautifully rendered cgi. Meanwhile the plot, story, and acting among other things are borderline decent at best, and if it wasn't for the shiny cool things, the film probably wouldn't have done that well at all. In the end, I can't be that mad at Hollywood, they recognized they had a money maker in their hands and exploited it. The result was Transformers 2.

If people hadn't gone around watching these movies, guess what? We might have some quality movies that made us want to see them over and over, no matter how bad Christian Bale's voice was in The Dark Knight (and yes, I'd watch it again).

In Hollywood's defense, when you have movies like this on the horizon, I'm not ashamed to admit that I would go see it strictly for it's entertainment, but hopefully it surprises with a decent story as well.

Just think of what movies like this could accomplish if everything about it was good. But that's a whole other topic.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I don't know if this is awesome or ridiculous

A blind man targeting a speeding record.

It's probably a combination of both. This man is badass. Ridiculously awesome. Who do you know is gonna get in a car and try to break speed records? Nobody. The closest you can hope to get is that you can break the speed limit on the turnpike without getting pulled over by the state police. Try doing that shit when you can't see.

The amount of testicular fortitude this man possesses is staggering. He probably can intimidate anyone just by walking down the street with said fortitude and one glare from his blind eyes. You know he can't see you, but that doesn't change the fact that he's owning you. I guarantee it.

He's lost the ability to see but what he's gained goes far beyond the heightening of his other senses to compensate. For some reason, a heightened sense of I-can-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want came with it. This guy isn't a stubborn blind person that doesn't realize he can't see and therefore can't drive. He most likely knows and full well understands that, but ask him what part of himself gives a fuck and he'll tell you it's certainly not his eyes.